A Guest Post By Hanna Lange: No Last Time

There’s never going to be a last time.

There is no cure.
There is only the finite space
Of not-so-bad
Of kind of okay
The discrete moments of joy
And they’re so hard to remember
Especially when the sadness
Is so overwhelming,
When the melancholy floats to the surface
Like poisonous cream.
When I’m already so tired,
And the reality is that the best
I can hope for is respite
Rather than true relief.
It’s like a terminal illness
That never terminates
Without palliative care
Or hospice
And, so often, without
Real understanding,
Just empty platitudes.
 -By Hanna Lea Lange
( This poem was written 4 days before the previous post, “Remember to Bend”. My daughter Hanna had called me and in the course of our conversation, she said, “There’s never going to be a last time.”  It struck me as an opening line to a poem, and since she is a poet, I suggested that she begin a poem with those words which she did and the above poem was the result.
Four days later, after seeking and receiving the medical help she needed, her inner state had changed profoundly and she wrote, “Remember to Bend” after taking a yoga class as part of her treatment. I am sharing it here because I think it is one of the most honest and clear descriptions of depression that I have ever read and we hope it might help others who suffer from depression not to feel so alone. )

One comment on “A Guest Post By Hanna Lange: No Last Time

  1. BHW says:

    A beautiful, courageous poem. Thank you Hanna and Joan!


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