“Small voice,” I say, “I changed your question a little.”

“You did?” small voice says, “Why?”

” ‘What am I here for?’ seemed too big so

I changed it to ‘What is being asked of me right now?’ ” 

“Sounds good,” says small voice.

“It’s still hard to answer,” I say.

“Yes,” says small voice.

“But…” I say.

“Go on,” says small voice.

“Well, it’s strange but when I ask that question,

I don’t feel invisible anymore,” I say.

“Maybe asking that question is what you’re here for,” says small voice.

“Maybe,” I say.

                                                                                                                                                                     JDG

“Small voice, do you ever get the feeling

you’re invisible?” I ask.

“Not exactly, ” says small voice, “but I’m often ignored.”

“What do you do then?” I ask.

“I’ll tell you what I don’t do,” says small voice.

“What?” I ask.

“I don’t give up. I just keep on talking.”

“Even when you’re ignored?” 

“Yep.”

“Why?” I ask.

“That’s what I’m here for.

What about you?  What are you here for?” small voice asks.

“I’m beginning to see why

you’re often ignored,” I say.  “Still, I heard you and

I’ll  think about it.”

“Fair enough,” small voice says, smiling.

                                                                                                                                                                   JDG

“Small voice,”  I say, “sometimes I feel so bad

I just want to give up.”

“Only when you feel bad?” small voice asks.

“Duh…why would I want to give up if I felt good?” I say.

“Well,” small voice says, “It all depends

on what you’re giving up.”

“Oh no,” I say, “here we go again.”

Small voice smiles.

“Let me rephrase that,” I say. “Sometimes I just don’t want

to bother.  I don’t want to try any more.”

“You know that can be a good thing, right?” small voice says.

“Not really,” I say.

“When you quit trying and you give up,

you make room for something other

than your familiar self,” small voice says.

“And if that something doesn’t come? … You’re

asking an awful lot,” I say.

“Yes,” small voice says, “I am.”

“You never were one for easy answers,” I say. “Sometimes

I wish you were.”

“Ah,” small voice says with a grin,

“So we’re back to wishing again.”

I groan.

                                                                                                                                        JDG

“Small voice,” I say, “there’s something 

I’ve been meaning to ask you.”

“Shoot,” small voice says.

“Well, you always seem to be talking about being aware

 and paying attention and stuff like that,” I say.

“Yes?”

“But I thought you were supposed to be

the voice of conscience,” I say.

” Consciousness leads to conscience,” 

small voice says. ” The larger the consciousness

the stronger the conscience.”

“Oh,” I say. “So we’re working with the basics here.

I guess I’m in basic training and not graduate school after all.”

Small voice smiles.

                                                                                                                                        JDG