“Bless those who challenge us. They remind us of doors we have closed and doors we have yet to open.”

                                                                                                                                                                                                               – a Navajo saying

This is for you, my dear friend, who challenged me concerning yesterday’s post on Occupy Oakland. At first I was just annoyed and almost immediately began marshaling  arguments to support my position and rebut yours. Then I was overwhelmed with a sense of the futility of such an effort. This was quickly followed by a deep feeling of fatigue and a desire to avoid discussing the matter any further.  But because of the work I have been doing in  Nonviolent Communication and in Mindfulness Meditation, I decided on a different course.

Rather than focus attention on the initial thoughts and feelings your e-mail evoked and amplifying them, I turned my attention instead to the physical sensations I was feeling in my body. It was only then that I realized that my heart was racing and that was when I became aware that below the annoyance, sense of futility, fatigue, and desire to avoid further discussion was fear. I resisted  the temptation to mentally expand on all the fears I have related to the unchecked use of force and power and simply kept my attention gently focused on my racing heart. Gradually my heart returned to its usual rhythm and, as I continued to sit with my attention softly focused on my now steadier and slower- beating heart, I felt connected to all who are or ever have been afraid for whatever reason or circumstance.

I didn’t realize until then that, in closing the door to my own fear, I had closed the door to others’  fear as well, and thus had closed the door to a common aspect of humanity that connects us all. I do not doubt for one minute, my friend, your care for me nor mine for you. Strangely, the bridge back to my own heart and to you was through a recognition and acceptance of fear unadorned with explanations,  justifications, or desire to persuade.

So, let us sit, my friend, with our fears and speak them to one another. My strong intuition is that our fears, simply and honestly spoken, will lead us to common ground from which new possibilities may arise for us both.