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Numerators

On our vast world, the limitless

has placed limits.

The hairs on our

head and our days

are numbered. We can learn to count

and  to be held

accountable

in many ways.

 The Seven Noble Truths and the

  Ten Commandments

are among prime

numerators.

                                           JDG



My Part

 “Of course I know I had a part in it,”  I will sometimes say when telling someone about a conflict I am in the midst of, but then I go on to describe in some detail all that the other person said, did, or didn’t do and don’t focus at all on my words and actions. Recently I have been rereading ANATOMY OF PEACE by the Arbinger Institute which helps us look at all the ways we avoid really looking at our part in disputes and conflicts.

The profound process of self examination this book presents is framed within a story about parents of troubled teens who spend a weekend coming to understand their part in what  goes wrong and learning how to contribute toward helping things go right. While their children are participating in a group wilderness experience, the parents  are led together through an inner process inspired by Martin Buber’s distinction between an “I-Thou” relationship where people are seen as fellow human beings and an “I-It” relationship where they are seen as objects. Their learning is facilitated by a Palestinian whose father was killed by an Israeli and an Israeli whose father was killed by a Palestinian and focuses on four main patterns of self deception  ( we each have our favorites ) which box us in and are used to justify our perceptions and behavior. 

This business of thinking, seeing, and behaving toward others as though they were objects rather than human beings was brought home to me on an ordinary Saturday afternoon several years ago when I was with my young grandchildren. We were stopped at a light that had just changed to green when the person behind me began blowing his horn. This is a pet peeve of mine and I handled it in my usual fashion by driving very very slowly, really just inching along,  through the intersection. One of my granddaughters looked over at me, probably having observed this particular response before, and said, “Gaba, stop it. They may have some place they really need to be.” The people I saw simply in terms of their capacity to irritate me, my granddaughter saw as human beings with needs and desires of their own. People still do occasionally blow their horn at me when I don’t move quickly when the light changes, but my granddaughter’s words stay with me and I no longer inch through the intersection and a small bit of peace has been added to this troubled world. 

 

This Year I Choose

This year I am choosing to focus on only one practice: to really get to know that space in me after a stimulus and before a response. I want to discover what that place is like and what thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations visit there. I want to sit with these thoughts, feelings, and body sensations and get to know them in their own right. Once I sense that they have said all they have to say, I will thank them and continue to wait until a clearing comes. And then? And then, I’ll see.

Even as I write this, the thoughts come: “You can’t do this after every single stimulus.” “You’ll never get anything done.” “This is going to slow everything way down.”  The feelings are excitement edging toward anxiety. And the body sensations? My lower body is at rest, but I feel alot of agitation in the area of my heart and throat. I will sit with these and other visitors until a clearing comes or until I choose to say goodbye for a while with a promise to return if not to that particular stimulus to another one. My commitment is to the practice itself  not to an outcome.

This year I choose.

Every Which Way

So many roads converge ahead.

The signs point in

all directions.

Every which way

you turn, there’s one for the taking.

There’s a low road

and a high road,

one well-traveled,

one that makes all the difference.

I guess my road

will have to be

one not taken.

                                                                                     JDG

Finding Our Ways

All the trains have left the station

but not with me,

although I left

the station too.

Our final destination will

be the same – still,

I’m glad I found

a way less fixed

to travel there, even if I had

to jump some tracks,

annoy some folks

who move in packs.

                                                                                                            JDG

A Dog’s Tale

A dog’s tail tells no lies, cannot

say one thing, but

mean another.

A dog can’t hide

behind a friendly wag as he

contrives a fierce

attack. It comes

as no surprise

that not one dog has ever climbed

Wall Street’s mighty

ladder or made

it to Congress.

                                                                                                 JDG

Some Folks Say

Some folks say what’s worth doing

is worth doing

well. But I say,

what’s worth doing

is worth doing poorly, at least

at first. Why wait

for competence

when the pleasure

of  just diving in awaits? When

we play the fool

wisdom can come

after the fun.

                                                                                                               JDG

Giving Thanks

In POCKETFUL OF MIRACLES, Joan Borysenko writes of a practice Bother David Steindl-Rast  does every night before turning out the light. He thinks of one thing for which he’s never before been grateful. After practicing this for several weeks and using up obvious sources of gratitude and knowing she would be doing this practice at night, Joan Borysenko realized she was becoming more mindful during the day to notice and appreciate things she might have missed before.  I have decided to take this up as a daily practice too.  Since making a commitment to try to post a new entry on this blog each day, I have  noticed that I have become more attentive to the world around me.  With the small addition of Brother David Steindl-Rast’s practice. I hope to expand my awareness to include the many possibilities for gratitude that cross my path each day and to offer a few simple words of thanks. Already today, I found myself looking at my mailbox ( I live in the country) with a newfound appreciation and gratitude.

An Opening

 So many trees have flamed out now

that through their bare

and boney limbs

you can see what

 lies beyond. Even some stately

evergreens have

parted and let

the light pass through.

Sometimes losing what was once so

 full opens up

another view –

one vast and spare.

                                                                                 JDG

A Monk, A Dog, and Me

In the latest issue of PARABOLA is an excerpt from FLUTE SOLO by  Matthew Kelty,a Gethsemene monk who died recently at age 95. He wrote,” I am not a flutist, yet I have a flute and I play it, play it for no purpose and for no ears save God’s and my own.” He goes on to say that his purpose is not to become an accomplished flutist and that if it were, perhaps, that would be “the end of joyous freedom.” He says that he fears his “small joy [would be] driven away by concern for doing it well and turning a natural act into performance. ” This  set me to thinking about why I am writing this blog and I am led back to my original desire which was both practical and relational. I wanted  a container (a holding place  for my ponderings and wanderings) and I wanted a simple way of sharing my musings with others. Matthew Kelty reminded me that for me writing and reading are simple pleasures that I enjoy both for their own sake and for the connection to others that they can bring. In this way I am much like my dog Toby who enjoys the simple pleasure of being outdoors for its own sake, but whose enjoyment is amplified by the companionship of others.  I am  deeply appreciative of  your companionship as I read and write.